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The PPC Message Board

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This homepage moved to The Twisted Skein for safe-keeping. The latest mission releases will not be posted here - they can be found on the PPC Wiki instead.
New Spinoff in Spinoffs, by Hellga, PPC:SIELU - The Elven Affairs Unit - "Slightly neurotic Agent Lambda protects Elves from evil Sues."

New Buffyverse PPC: two chapters, The Ultimate Slayer and The Being of Light, a shocking two-parter.

New Buffyverse PPC: The Life That Angel And Buffy Never Had -- it's a toss-up which is worse, the plot of this Marty-Stu, or the mangling of the English language.

8/12/03 Lots o' stuff --

First, new/ish PPC:TOS chapter, To Know Where You're Going, an older story finally finished off with a little help from friends.

Second, a request for assistance -- any Farscape fans out there among the Assassins ready to take on an Uncharted Suvian? We have a letter from a supporter here with notification of badfic incursions there:

To the Protectors of the Plot Continuum:

I have long followed your fight against bad fanfiction writing as a silent yet resiliant supporter. However, I must ask that you branch your organization out into the Farscape genre in order to eliminate a particularly dangerous Mary Sue. From what I have managed to gather in the thirty-nine chapter tale is an extreme disruption to both cannon and characterization, along with an extraordinarily sexist attitude toward women in particular romance novel fashion. 

If you have any agents who are willing to take on a Farscape fiction and right the wrongs set forth,  I would be greatly appeased. 

You will find the following Mary Sue at this address: 

Good luck.

- Israfel

Finally, the Buffyverse Chargelist has been assembled with lots of suffering and hard work (in that order) by Agent Rhysdux. (Yes, they're all real. I asked -- had to ask.)

A new series, the Buffyverse PPC, filling a critical gap in the realm of media fandom. Enjoy!

Two new PPC:TOS chapters: A Taste of Blood and the sad fate of Gemini Stone

New PPC spinoff in Links: the Department of Misplaced Flora & Fauna, by Elvealauregaladriel Aure.

Winterfox has updated The Mary-Sue Litmus Test for LOTR stories.

Agent Nath has edited "Mary Sue, Sue Mary and the Broken Plot Continuum" and the new versions of the chapters are available in the links below. Also, all the links should work now, but let us know if any of them don't.

For this to work properly, we need to know not only what the link you were trying to reach was, but what page you were coming from, since the same target might be linked from several different pages. Please copy and paste this into your email too, or it can be very difficult to figure out what needs to be fixed.

Protectors of the Plot Continuum: The Original Series
       (relocated to Odd Lots 5/10/02)

        "Do not meddle in the affairs of assassins, for we are heavily-
          armed and quick to anger. And not noticeably subtle."

     A picture of the PPC's Original Assasins, by Bold Font, in anime style. (6/01/02)

Exiled unjustly from ffnet, here you will find PPC: TOS, by Jay & Acacia, aka Harpwire, Assasins Extraordinaire. (Currently writing on ffnet as Wunderlust.)


We love fanfic. Honestly, we do.

But changing the *main plotline* of the canon story is ridiculous. (Except in speculative AU "what-if" type stories.) And Mary Sues upstage the canonical main characters, which really should not happen. If you want to be the main character, try doing original fiction. Then you can even publish it without breaking copyright laws, maybe even get rich. But if you do that,  please knock your character down a few notches from "angel".

Each fanfic Jay and Acacia enter has its own chapter. The author and fic title are included in the chapter's title.

Critiques go to Acacia, because Jay suffers from an inability to deal with criticism. (even good criticism.) Flames go to anyone you like, because they'll just be laughed at anyway.

Chapter 1: Rambling Band Meet the Assassins as they rid Middle-earth of stray punk rockers in Rivendell.
Chapter 2: Chosen Galadriel's other daughter meets a timely end.
Chapter 3: Lady of the Fellowship Technical difficulties are experienced, and necessity proves the mother of invention as the Asssassins encounter a Warrior-'Sue.
Chapter 4: Protector of the Ringbearer Of blue unicorns and less probable things; The Department of Bad Slash proves helpful.
Chapter 5: What Might Have Been The secret of Rivendell's construction, and the lost technology of Hollin — cement.
Chapter 6: And in the Darkness Bind Them  Zelda meets Dragonlance meets the Assassins: PPC 1, 'Link' 0.
Chapter 7: Children of the Earth Sean and Lux tag along. Recruiting.
Chapter 8: Why am I Here How to drive a Mary-Sue to madness: the Cheese Elves of Rivendell.
Chapter 9: Laugh at the Moon Scientific 'Testing to Destruction' of a Mary-Sue.
Chapter 10: Vacation at OFUM (Which turns out to be a Working Vacation, of course...)
Chapter 11: Mithril Elrond's other daughter meets a timely end in Generic FantasyLand.
Chapter 12 : Gwendolyn In which it is seen that ten is not a logical number.
Chapter 13: All Souls Night What to do with flames, and no-win situations.
Chapter 14: Sisterhood "Nine 'Sues for mortal fen, doomed to cry..."
Chapter 15: The Maiden Barbecue time! Party with the PPC!
Chapter 16: We Cannot Be Andromielle Zinnia, 'Sue Social Status, and OOCness...
Chapter 17: Darkness Awakened Administrative chaos, er, changes to the Departments...
Chapter 18: Two Worlds Surreal crossovers, or, Very Large Stone Buildings in Lothlorien
Chapter 19: Torment The Assassins widen their horizons to the deserving.
Chapter 20: The Luggage Runs Off With The One Ring Discworld crossover mayhem - say goodby to sanity...
Chapter 21: The Dark Elf Bring your anti-nausea medications...
Chapter 22: Elemental Crystals Dragons, dragons, & more uncanonical dragons!
To 23: Know Where You're Going NEW! 
Chapter 24: A Taste of Blood Death to Leggy-torturers!
Chapter 25: Gemini Stone Neurotic supermodels don't belong in Rivendell
Reference Materials

The Mary-Sue Litmus Test for LOTR stories, created by Winterfox (updated 06/15/03)

The Official Charge List of the PPC, created by NenyaQuende

Substance Menu for PPCers by Neshomeh (adapted from the List of Edible & Semi-Edible Substances by Claudia Beth King)

Intelligence Briefs for the PPC
     Architeuthis scouts out trouble for the Assassins, at high personal risk.

AN:  You know the drill:  I'm not making any money off this whatsoever.  All LOTR characters belong to the Tolkien Estate.  The PPC was created by Harpwire.

Chapter 1: The Beginning A spy joins the Protectors of the Plot Continumm, plus the 'official' definition of Mary Sues.
Chapter 2: Manic Depressive by Cliffhanger A Mary Sue and an Extra Ringwraith roam
Middle-Earth leaving chaos in their wake.
Chapter 3: Time Will Tell by Bombur Jo One occasionally finds PLEASANT surprises on the job — like a GOOD "modern girl goes to Middle-Earth" fic.
Chapter 4: Harry Potter and the One Ring of Power The problems with bad crossovers and obnoxious wizards who upstage the locals.
Chapter 5: Possessed  "Concerning truly dreadful slash and character assassination."

Mary Sue, Sue Mary and the Broken Plot Continuum
     6/06/02 - 7/15/02 (Complete)
     Nath wonders what happens next . . .  (cue ominous music!)

Mary Sue and Sue Mary finally dare to go to Middle Earth now the original PPC is no longer hunting their kind. A wise decision?!?

Chapter 1: It begins
Chapter 2: Rivendell
Chapter 3: It's all in the mind?
Chapter 4: This wasn't in the film?!?
Chapter 5: Things start to fall apart, the center cannot hold
Chapter 6: The world in pieces
Chapter 7: "It's the end of the world (and I feel fine.)"

The Last Word is Always Goodbye
     AnyAmy gives us another team of Assassins hard at work dealing with the influx of badfic.

"In the tradition of Jay and Acacia, an irritating veteran and a rookie from a desk-job assassinate Mary Sues for the PPC. 

"I claim not LotR, which is the work of Tolkien, nor the PPC, which is the brainchild of the original assassins. I do, however, claim any blue cheese mentioned in this tale."

Chapter 1: Forced to Love
Chapter 2: Lost Beloved

Kazra & Rich
     KazraGirl and her partner keep Middle-earth safe from guns and Balrog tentacles, among other horrors...

Chapter 1: Entrapment in Middle-Earth
Chapter 2: Moonlight-Shadow - The Fellowship of the Ring
Chapter 3: The Eirren Bow Maiden

Kwennyfer & Jane
     by lumarele

One ex-Mary Sue, one Matrix fangirl, and ten thousand evil fanfics. Watch the insanity unfold! (Ch. 1: in which the honor of the Nazgul is defended.)
Chapter 1. Disposing of the Rings by Archiekins

Buffyverse Division of the PPC
     by Agent Rhysdux & friends

Fighting the First Evil, one badfic at a time.
Chapter 1. Sabella In which Sabella -- Buffy's OTHER sister, the one Joss Whedon never told us about -- warps time, space, and the backstories of every canon character beyond recognition...in too many ways to imagine.
Chapter 2. Highway to Hell Rhysdux and Ginmar must deal with Demon Buffy, Induced-Memory, Sensitive Soap Opera Stud Spike and a fortysomething Interdimensional 'Sue named Baby.
Chapter 3. Family ReUnion Rhysdux and a demoness team up against Spike's godplaying younger sister, Sage. (Fashion crimes are also punished.)
Chapter 4. The Life That Angel And Buffy Never Had The Buffyverse agents stop a particularly heinous 'Stu dead in his tracks--literally -- while offering a running critique of bad grammar and spelling.
Chapter 5. The Ultimate Slayer Buffyverse agents Rhysdux and Honorificus have to deal with a psychotic Sue posing as Buffy, male Slayers, Kind Psychic Healer Ethan Rayne, Torture Victim Giles, possessed Scoobies and an energy being called the Ultimate Slayer in this all-Buffy section of a two-part Buffy/Xena crossover.
Chapter 6. The Being of Light In which morally ambiguous PPC agents Rhysdux and Honorificus have to battle a Doppelganger Stu, a Doppelganger Sue, Childlike Healer! Ethan, Vicious Murderess! Gabrielle, the Ultimate Slayer (who finally solidifies), an annoying 'surfer dude' type from the Xenaverse and a Zoroastrian demon who became the immortal evil in the Hercules/Xenaverse.


Dour K handles the Disturbing Acts of Violence Dept.
NenyaQuende & Rosie and the Jay And Acacia Kooky Spinoff Nerd Society
Department of Misplaced Flora & Fauna
(handling all those uncanon mythological critters by Elvealauregaladriel Aure)
Krishna and Serenity
A few more Assassins join the crew
PPC:SIELU - The Elven Affairs Unit NEW! 
Slightly neurotic Agent Lambda protects Elves from evil Sues



—to contact the webmaster, or any Assassin whose emails are not linked, post on the Posting Board.